hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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