areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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