so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's blow job season.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
