Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
