there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
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Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
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So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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