i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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