My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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