Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
