Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i would punch a child for taco bell
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
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Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
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would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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