best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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