looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
