he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
