things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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