Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
