I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
either way he was missing a nipple.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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