The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
