How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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