3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
