why didn't you poke me back
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
