why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
