My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
