entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
