were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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