Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
