Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize