What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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