I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
