I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
