where am i from again
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
