I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
