My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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