my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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