i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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