I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
