i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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