we made out on top of his cat.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
