Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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