So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There's even glitter on my cock...
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