we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
