I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
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So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
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I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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