he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
