I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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