Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
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It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
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Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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