Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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