Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
