I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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