I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
