She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
