I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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