her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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