well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
