By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
