butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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