he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
