Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Damn victory sex feels great
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
