When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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