Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
