How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize