So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
