is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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