I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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