i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize