Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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