The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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