I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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