my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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